my stint as a calendar girl!

a friend and i took a trip to pretty boy reservoir, and at one point we were sitting on the shore with our feet in the water, having a nice conversation. up until this point, the day had been rather picturesque-- the weather was beautiful, there was hardly anyone else around, and we'd been having great discussions and enjoying the water. i even made some comments about how much more comfortable i felt in a bathing suit on that particular day than usual, in part because no one else was around and in part because i was getting more comfortable with myself in general.

so, as we are sitting there, we hear "dead or alive" by bon jovi blasting from a tiny boat pretty far away. since there was nothing between us and the boat except for water, which really carries sound, we could hear male voices loud and clear singing along, which gave us a good laugh. then, we heard bits and pieces of their conversation-- "did you get a crotch shot?"..."i got all up tight on that vagina"..."see, this is when having that camera is a good thing." i looked around and realized they were talking about us. there was no one else in sight. i had been sitting with one ankle on the opposite knee and i immediately changed positions so my legs were closed (like a real lady, right?). i could tell my friend heard some of what they were saying too, but we tried to talk over them and not let them spoil our fun.

as the boat got closer, we could hear them talking more and more about us--"they look real young"..."if you would turn that music down, i'd talk to them"..."what are you gonna do, ask if they have any grey poupon?" (laughter) "no i'd ask if they wanted to take a ride on a boat" (lots of laughter) "nah, they look real young". at a certain point, it became really hard to ignore and talk over them. they stared and talked about us the entire time it took them to pass by.

after they passed, we talked a little bit about how annoying and disgusting and lame the whole thing was, then we tried to get back to conversation that didn't involve those assholes. after a bit, my friend said, "i think they're still there." i had the same feeling. we both started putting clothes on over our bathing suits, and sure enough, the fuckers began to pass again, back in the direction they came from. "those sure are some cute little girls"..."we could make a real nice calendar from today"..."yeah, that eagle we saw before..." "yeah, we could make a wildlife calendar AND a titty calendar..."

by now, it was clear that we couldn't feel comfortable sitting in this awesome spot we had found. we finished gathering our things and left. it was a really clear example, to me, of how girls and women are implicitly given the message, through repeated experiences like this one, that they should not be comfortable in public without men accompanying them. my trip was shortened, and the great day i was enjoying with a friend turned into me feeling self-conscious about my body, gross because i was reduced to a "vagina," a "cute little girl" and an installment of a "titty calendar", angry that shit like this seems to be endless, and really uneasy that these men, who were around my father's age, had pictures of us "two little girls"--apparently closeups of body parts--who they obviously thought were even younger than we actually are.

farmer's market/sleezebag city

so. i've been thinking about posting this nonstop since yesterday but due to scanty internet access, its been difficult. in any case, HERE IT IS!

this past saturday, i was at the farmer's market in falls church, virginia, helping my friend run a stand for atwater's selling bread. the beginning of the day started with Daniel, who was selling fresh produce. although i told him my name, he insisted on calling me "sweetie" and offering me several cantaloupes. throughout the day, i confronted over-entitled middle-aged yuppies who gave me all sorts of warm and fuzzy questionable/questioning glances, and continually stared at my armpits as if they were nuclear warheads (i went for the sleeveless option since it was a sweltering day). one kind gentleman actually asked me if, i "handled money" when i asked him for $5. interesting. yes, surprisingly enough, despite possessing a womb, i can actually handle money. fascinating! not sure what was the cause of the confusion....

throughout the day, i noticed this ridiculously sleezy feller with a long golden siamese cat (methinks?) earring. invariably, as anyone who seemed to have tits walked by, he would make a public spectacle of them, commenting on their body shapes and generally treating them like little sexpots. interestingly enough, he was also collecting signatures to put ralph nader on the ballot. i avoided him all day, although he was posted right in front of our stand.

as we were packing up, i noticed him coming closer and proceeded to cold shoulder ignore him, avoiding contact but also thinking, "just try to come over here and fuck with me, i'll bite your face off." clearly, he did not hear that mental message and he walked over exclaiming, "LOOK HOW PRETTY SHE IS!" as if he was making a public service announcement, looking left and right and holding his hand out as if i was on display. i ignored him and continued to busy myself with the packing. apparently, my lack of response urged him to up his tactics, and he went on: "JEEZ YOU ARE JUST SO PRETTY! I'D LOVE TO JUST STAND NEXT TO YOU! I MEAN, I'D PAY YOU $30 JUST TO LOOK AT YOU FOR AN HOUR!!!"

ok, THAT WAS IT. I responded, "I'd pay you $30 to stop talking." Then he said, "You know what, I wouldn't take it. All I'm trying to do is make this world a happier place. I mean, there is so much hate in this world, I'm just trying to spread a little love." I said, "By making women feel like objects?" He said, "You may take it that way, but that is NOT how I meant it!" I said, "Well, that's how it came off" and then turned away signaling the end of discussion. Huffing and puffing, he then proceeded to rant about me to all the neighboring farmer's stands...luckily, they ignored him.

ugh.

Baltimore is a city of many mysteries and wonder.

Baltimore is a city of many a mysteries and wonder. Such as the abundant population of overly sexist men who believe it their duty in life to yell out their desires to any person that may seem to possess a vagina. Biking around the city daily, I experience this phenomenon first hand and within close proximities, giving the event an even more genuine feel. Here is just one of my numerous stories.

I am not one to yell or take things personally, but today was just one of those days. I have just gotten out of the dentist’s office bearing the news that my wisdom teeth had to be removed using my nonexistent insurance. Needless to say, I was pissed. So I am biking down N. Charles on the side road next to Johns Hopkins and I here, “Girl, you sexy.” Any other day I would have continued biking and never thought twice, but today was not any other day. So feisty as ever, I leap off my bike and go up to the nice young man who verbally abused me. This kid could not have been a day over 17 and seemed to be waiting for the bus, but this was of no concern to me at that current moment. I got in the kids face and demanded, “What did you say??!!” He was all, “I said, you sexy girl.” So I replied, “Fuck you, you’re sexy!” Then he goes, “Fuck you bitch, you sexy!” Then I said, “No, fuck you, you’re sexy!” Then he was just, “Fuck you bitch!” And I was, “Fuck you, dickhead” This little tug-of-war went on for about 3 minutes, and in bitch fight time that is about ½ an hour.

When I finally came to my senses, I realized that I had been cussing out a kid over me being sexy and that I had bigger fish to fry. I looked at him and said, “Whatever dude”, and promptly returned to my bike to get the hell out of there. See what the streets of Baltimore transform me to; a potty mouth monster in search of juveniles to assault.

I suppose being called sexy is much more alluring then someone telling you that they wish they were your bike seat. I will save that dude for another day.

My Body, Always Up for Discussion

time: 10:04 pm, Thursday
location: Montpelier Street, near Frisby

I was walking home from a friends house. I approached a man on my short walk. He said "hello", I said "good evening" and we exchanged proper pleasantries. Just as I thought I had had a satisfactory interaction with a stranger, he yells after me "Nice Feet!" This struck me as funny and bizzare. I was not personally threatened or really upset by this. But it was odd that he had to throw in something about my body at the last minute, lest I forget that we are not equals and cannot have an equal exchange of evening "hello's" because he is a man and I am not.

time: 10:38 am, Friday
location: Bus stop, corner of 32nd and Greenmount

"How long have you been waiting?"
"Not long. The bus should be here soon. But I guess you never know."

And then I made a phone call and tried to walk away from him a bit. But he sorta kept following me around in the small space of what is the "bus stop area." Then he decided to step it up a notch and ask me:

"So where are you going?"
I looked at him as neutrally as possible and said, "Downtown." (And that's where the only bus that comes by there goes, so I felt ok revealign this obvious information.)

Then as if it wasn't clear that I didn't want to talk to him. He said, "Are you ready for your tip of the day?" It took me a minute. How can I respond? What should I be ready for? "You shouldn't stand with your shoulders like that." And he went on to tell me how I wasn't standing up straight enough and that I should be aware of putting my shoulders back and my chest out, because otherwise I might have a hump on my back when I am older. I felt that this was so generous of him. He was saving me from present and future ugliness. What a service to my personal growth and understanding. (Ok, so clearly this is sarcasm.) Look jackass, I am not going to stick my breasts out for you to ogle. There are some times and places where I would rather hunch.

I usually am not harrassed and I usually have tactics and ways of handling possible harrassment that seem to work for me. And I am not sure I would label this as extremely upsetting or threatening especially in light of what other posts have said or will say on this site. But I felt like this was patriachy telling me ,"You are always up for discussion. Your body is not yours. And never forget that!"

you got a green light!

Time: Around 3:00pm.
Place: Somew road in Pikesville.

huh. so whilst driving with my friend Reina after a jamout session in pikesville, we encountered an interesting occurrence. we were stopped in the car at a red light going straight. next to us were two left turning lanes which had a separate signal. on our left side a suv sneakily and suspiciously crept up next to us. all the windows were tinted so we just looked over and kept talking. all of a sudden and with perfect synchronization, all of the tinted windows lowered revealing 4-5 homies.

homie #1 yelled: "yo! how you doin fine thang!" to which Reina replied, "uh, you got a green light, better get moving!" homie #1 responded: "no YOU got a green light!" pointing to me in the passenger seat. befuddled, Reina replied, "no really, you're gonna miss your light." to which they replied "YOU got a light!" this little call and response game was going nowhere, so Reina just ignored them and they eventually drove off.

what does it all mean!?

birthday full of female subjugation!

hello. what a fine and blessed birthday this has been in all of five hours of being awake. i have no pictures, but instad a lovely play by play of dirtbags I encountered in less than a 30 minute span of time.

1:34 pm, M&T Bank on Charles and 31st
So I'm waiting online at the bank, and this old-ish guy being helped by the teller is just spewing all sorts of shit thats making me want to punch him square in the nose.
He started going on about some women getting out of line, then he was talking about how some blonde woman that used to be on 'Friends' got away, and how "no man should ever give up a hot momma like that" At this point he looks over at me as if to say "am I right?", at which point I roll my eyes. He then started carrying on about he's gonna keep his woman right where she is.. "she ain't going nowhere, nohow, no sir!". When he finally finished his monologue, it was my turn to see the teller, and he says "Go along little mama, see the man." Ooooooooooo!!!! Shit, I was pissed

1:48 pm, on bicycle going down Maryland Ave by 25th Street
I was stopped at a red light, and looked over to see who was in the truck beside me, it was A fat man, a young lady, and another guy sitting by the window near me. I didn't think much of it, and looked somewhere else minding my own business. Then I hear a "psssst!".... and I do my best to look oblivious. Then I hear, "My name is Chris, what's your name you fine young thing?" Ugh. So, I just rode up a little to see if there was any traffic and I sped off without saying a word.

2:01pm, walking bicycle, going up the hill where artscape is on W Mt. Royal Ave.
Now I'm walking up the hill where they're setting up for artscape, and I was walking passed a whole crew of dudes pitching up the tents. I tried not to make eye contact, but then noticed a male friend walking down the hill. Now this is interesting, I heard one of the dudes say "Oye! Mamaci-...." at the same time I'm saying hey to my friend, and they just cut it right there. Interesting right?

2:15pm, on bicycle, Mt. Royal and North Ave,
I thought I had enough for one day of asshole pigs, but then I'm riding past the mica gateway building on north ave, and like five or six asshole construction workers start whistling and yowling like rabid dogs. I hope this was for something else, but you see, I was the only person on the road since the street was closed off for car traffic because of artscape. I don't know what the fuck is up with today, I wasn't wearing anything that should command such bullshit attention, in fact I look pretty shitty, so I find myself baffled once again.

In any case, I'm off to a promising year wouldn't you say?

time: 2:25pm, friday july 11, 2008

place: harry's liquor store on greenmount, around 31st

I was just trying to buy a stamp, so I went to the rite aid. The lady told me they didn't sell stamps anymore and to go to harry's liquor store next door. I went in and looked around for the counter, a tall, imposing man asked me if I needed to get in line after looking me up and down. I nodded and stepped ahead. as I was buying my stamp he began talking loudly to his friend (both were right behind me) "I'm waiting for this shorty right here.. I'ma wait for her... yeah... this one right here... the little linebacker in the shorts... I'll be waiting for you outside." the woman who sold me the stamp glared at them and turned her back. I put my stamp on my envelope then looked to see if the man was actually waiting for me outside before leaving. luckily he wasn't. I left quickly and deliberately with my defenses up, LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING LINEBACKER.